What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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