No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
