apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
