Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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