We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am spending my child support on dildos
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
