you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
