due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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