yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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