I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
