she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
