Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
