I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
