I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
