Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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