My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
