we have pet lesbian snakes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
