doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
