he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
