ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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