oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
After last night, I could never be a politician.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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