just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
