I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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