hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
