ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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