She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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