thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
