So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
