is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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