Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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