What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
