If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
