I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
