Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
