And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
