I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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