You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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