She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
