Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone came in the potted fern
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
