A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
