Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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