is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
