The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
