I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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