New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do vagina's smell?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
