You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
