Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
