Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
