Whod you bang
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I cut my penus on the lid.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
