I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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