yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
